That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
