I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
