She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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