I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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