if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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