just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
