i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
