I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
