i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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