I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
