Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
