Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
