Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
