at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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