you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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