One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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