This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
