What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
