At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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