once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
