Your tits are I can't wait for
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
