Dual....:-)
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
