I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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