We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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