btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
