Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i've created a new STD.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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