So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
