we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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