Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
