I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
