Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
