Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
