38 yer olds are good kisserssss
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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