If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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