we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
