We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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