She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
