So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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