whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
