Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
