Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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