Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
