His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want to fling myself into the sun
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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