so explain again why im purple
no
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
