so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we're so committed to being not committed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
