How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm at about main and main street
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
