you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
