That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
