Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
