I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
