ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
