you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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