It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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