i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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