This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She bit a glass in half.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
